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by shirewalker



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, Innuendo, Modern AU, alina got hurt by mal. much surprise, nikolai gets dramatic, there's like mentions of stuff happening in a bedroom between two people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 19:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7520077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirewalker/pseuds/shirewalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nikolai revealed his true feelings for Alina a month ago. Now he's at her door...</p>
            </blockquote>





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**Author's Note:**

> For a drabble request I did on tumblr:
> 
> nikolina + “I tried, but I just can’t stay away from you anymore.”

He had promised. He had promised he’d stay away from her until she could sort it out. Until she could sort her feelings out. She needed time. Not to figure out how she felt about him, but to figure out if she was ready to take the plunge.

Nikolai was a constant presence in her life, and after two failed relationships that had crashed and burned, Alina felt like life was removing the rug from under her feet when she started to feel something more than friendship for the Lantsov heir. She knew he most likely felt like that for her for a while, his flirt always more directed at her, more personal, more… well, heartfelt. But she did her best to ignore it and played along, like two close friends would do.

But one day Nikolai had said more than Alina had asked for, revealing that her suspicions were true. But, contrary to Mal, he hadn’t demanded an answer, he had just said he’d wait for her to figure out things. She shouldn’t feel like she owed him anything, but he just needed to know if there were any chances for them.

That was a month ago.

Now, here he was, standing outside her door, with the wind blowing behind him. His eyes were focused on her, burning with… passion? Love? She couldn’t quite put a finger on what he was feeling, but she was certain he was here for her answer.

“Nikolai… I…”

“I’m sorry Alina. I really am. I tried, I tried, but I just can’t stay away from you anymore” he was panting. Had he been running? With a storm brewing? Was he crazy? No, nevermind, she knew the answer to that one.

“Nikolai… listen, I… I don’t know… I don’t know what to do… about… about this… about us” she was stammering. Of course, of all the times she could lose her hability to speak in front of Nikolai, this was the chosen one. Saints be damned, they were testing her.

Nikolai shivered, but his posture remained the same, decided, sure of what he wanted. “I love you Alina, and if you don’t feel the same way about me, I won’t bother you with this anymore. We’ll go back to before. I can do it. But…” he hesitated, his eyes roaming her face, as if he was afraid he’d have to memorize her features “I need to know. Whether you feel the same way or not. But I _need to know_ ”

Her breath caught in her throat. Did she feel the same way? Was his question. She thought of all the times they had standed too close for comfort. When she had felt tempted more often than not to kiss him, to kiss his stupid smirks and grins away. Not slap, nor kick, but kiss. She didn’t know when she’d shifted from wanting to slap his grins away to wanting to kiss him, but it had happened. She knew how she felt for him, but did she want to take the chance?

“Nikolai… I… I like you, I do” a shadow spread through his features. He thought she didn’t feel the same way. Defeated, he lowered his head in acceptance of his fate. “But… I’m scared”

Later, Alina would cackle at how fast his head had snapped back up, how his eyes had gone so big he looked like a cartoon. “Scared?” He breathed “Of what?”

She chuckled “Isn’t it obvious? Of trying things with you, of giving in to how I feel about you and ending up hurt like I did with Aleksander and… and Mal…”

Faster than lightning, Nikolai’s hands were on her face, the man having finally moved from his spot on the porch. “You don’t have to worry about that with me Alina” he said, his hopeful eyes locking onto hers “I’d rather die a thousand times than hurt you even just for one second”

And then he kissed her. So passionately she thought she’d faint there. Kissing him back, she dragged him into her house, making sure she found her room without breaking anything on the way.

As they fell into bed together she mused about their future, thinking about the way Nikolai kissed her, as if she was a saint and he was her worshipper, how maybe… how maybe this time she’d had found… _home_. She smiled like she hadn’t in a lifetime.


End file.
